Dancing With Cancer

Not the partner I would pick but life has a way of sending a variety of partners some to help us maybe some for us to help who knows?

A couple days after being told I have tongue/throat cancer and they didn’t know if it had metastasized my knees are still weak, just from the message, imagine how they will be after chemo & radiation treatments. I am due for a PET scan to acertain the extent of the cancer which will affect the treatment. Susan asked what I wanted to do, rest, go out, a short trip? I wanted to dance but the usual Zumba class seems like a bit much and just not conscious enough. I want my conscious rhythm dancing to clear my mind, heal my soul and maybe my body too.  It will be an interesting dance encounter,  friends there will not be aware of my ‘condition’ if I don’t tell them I am leaving them out of an important aspect of my life, If I do I am burdening them with my condition. It will be interesting to see how the dance works because although I, and everyone, show up with an initial state of consciousness, it gets transformed in the dance and everyone gets to participate exactly as they are. Which is exactly what I am looking for right now.

Susan asked if I was going to have an ‘anthem’ song, seems like a good choice of words, theme’ song misses the point. When she had cancer some 20 years ago I spontaneously latched onto a British pop song by David Essex, ‘Hold Me Close Don’t Let Me Go’. Really pretty pop but always in my head, I would grab her and hold her, literally for hours, playing and singing the song again and again, past her protests and exhaustion, going on and on, holding and singing. When it as time to visit in the hospital Michael was maybe 5 and he and I came around the corner into her room with the song playing on a boom box. 

So what song works for me? The one now stuck in my head day & night is The Crusaders/Joe Cocker’s song ‘I’m So Glad I’m Standing Here Today’ , if you don’t know the song go find it, what else is youtube for? Or just stick around I will make sure you hear it.

The lyrics are:

There were times I remember

Had to fight just to hold my head up

Those times when even my friends

Tried to make a fool of me

There were things that my heart attacked

That they just couldn't see

Some said I was hopeless

Tangled in the night

Strong hearts just keep goin'

That is why I'm still standing here today

Come together, raise up your voices

This time my song of love and life won't go away

I'll sing forever here in the sunshine

I've lived to see the sun break through the storm

And I'm so glad I'm standing here today

If you're lost in your troubles

And the world just seems to forget you

If you remember sunshine

Even on your darkest day

Just follow what your heart says

And you will find the way

Some said I was hopeless

Tangled in the night

Strong hearts just keep goin'

That is why I'm still standing here today

Come together, raise up your voices

This time my song of love and life won't go away

I'll sing forever here in the sunshine

I've lived to see the sun break through the storm

And I'm so glad I'm standing here today

Now Susan added, don’t I really want a playlist? Yes I do, one for Dancing With Mr C, so many aspects & facets and who knows who is leading and who is following.