Return To Dance

For the last couple days I have been getting excited about going back to Monday night dance, Monday comes and I am tired and feeling a bit wimpy but I push myself enough to go, And it should be good for Susan, too. I can alway rest during dance or even leave early if I have to, so its go for it. First time in two months and it feels so good to see everyone. If hugs could heal I would be the healthiest person alive. Another lady who has been in her own engagement with cancer is back for her first time. Another dancer who has been away at school is back for a visit, happy to see him again.The DJ plays some great selections including someones version of Leonard Cohen’s ‘Who By Fire’, how many times have I listened to that in the last few weeks…”and who, shall I say, is calling?”

There is not much crossover between Zumba and Monday improv sessions, only a part of the session gets up to Zumba exertion but the DJ plays “Fireball” got to be on Zumba’s top 10 hits. And I can’t keep going, have to sit down. My physical condition is terrible. I have trained the last couple years with a heart monitor to get maximum effect from training so I am surprised that just moving along relative slowly gets my heart up 100+BPM and anything more I go to 150 BPM. Now I had a low resting heart heart rate, usually about 55 when I woke up and at Zumba I would have to work up a soaking sweat to get 145+, and I would keep it there. I remember a couple years back on an a-fib procedure where they would not let me leave the hospital until my heart BPM was at least 40. So I know I am remarkably out of shape and will have to walk a lot and get back into exercise carefully. 

But dance has its own wonders, dance alone, with another person, with the group. Flow where I can without spinning and jumping but it will happen again. We leave after the first hour, reconnected.

I was feeling really sorry for myself, that the healing is so slow and then I go online and read other’s recovery reports and realize I am doing remarkably well. It is actually It is ‘only’ four weeks since my last chemo treatment and they run in my body for three weeks. And tomorrow is three weeks since my last radiation treatment. I have not lost weight, no longer taking pain killers. My mouth still hurts but not with the big holes, they are smaller and my tongue discomfort I have come to understand comes from nerve cells regrowing and reconnecting, pain with a positive spin.  The skin on my neck is nearly healed, just a few prickly points and I have a rash which concerns me so I make an appointment to check it out. 

In the company of Susan and my many friends I feel safe. So the song for now is “You Are Safe”, enjoy: http://tinyurl.com/yc47eje5