Crazy day, didn’t get quite enough sleep. Susan, for once, got out to a yoga and Zumba class, good for her. Went in for the 18th rad treatment, 17 to go which means that in number count this is half way. I know its more geometric or at least nonsymmetrical increase in pain and problems as the treatments go on but each treatment is a step towards the end of the process. I was feeling relatively good and thought maybe I had a view how this will play out with pain coming and also tapering off that I maybe can see my way through. What hubris. When I got home I took a nap and woke up with my mouth on fire, in new spots. Magic mouthwash and I still can’t eat anything. Not applesauce, apricot juice, pumpkin pudding. Susan is out to get some eggnog and see if I can handle that. I take a real pain killer, for only the second time, and that calms things down but I still feel my mouth and I worry that when the pain killer wears off it will not be good. And I don’t want to be on them all the time. It does seem like the pain in the back of my throat is manageable and the skin burn on the skin around my neck is manageable so I am hoping that this new mouth pain will fade to a state that is manageable with oral treatments that allow me to keep eating. Or, the possibility of a feeding tube intrudes into my consciousness. I already can’t taste anything and food is not interesting, I treat it like medicine and take it on schedules but If I cannot get food down because of mouth/throat pain then it may be necessary. But, no matter what, its half time. And progress towards the end.
Theme song for this part of the journey, Ol Man River, also incidentally, my father’s favorite song: http://tinyurl.com/pry33cz
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